The Sinned and the Damned
by JanusTheUnlucky7
Summary: The golden-haired alchemist held no feelings but HATE towards the green-haired humonculus who tried to kill him daily. He could barely restrain himself from gutting Envy like a fish. Or try too. But there was no way in hell that Edward would spend a year with him in a magic school for wizards.Yaoi.Edvy ON HIATUS DUE TO THE THE EVER-PRESENT BITCHINESS OF LIFE
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is my first ever fanfiction. So please support me and give me constructive criticism. This is a Yaoi fanfiction. If you do not approve, please press the back button on the corner of your screen. Flames are allowed. But little bonfires people. No raging infernos.

Disclaimer:I do not own Fullmetal ALchemist or its characters. All rights go to the original owner.

Prologue 

On a certain rooftop, on a certain backstreet in Central, a certain green-haired homunculus was reliving the events of his past glory. And by past glory he meant the events that took place a day ago. A cold, sadistic smile formed on Envy's pale face.

_Lab 5…_

_The Fullmetal Pipsqueak…_

The sound of the blonde chibi's bones breaking gave him a rush even now. And the chibi's grunts of pain were only music to his ears. But the one thing that Envy found most entertaining about the alchemist were his his reactions to being called short.

''_WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL, THEY CAN ESCAPE DEATH BY A SHOE 'CUZ THEY'RE SMALL ENOUGH TO FIT BETWEEN THE GROOVES?''_

Very funny.

His threats even better.

''_WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' SMALL? I'LL RIP OFF YOUR FEET N' STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEAD!"_

His insults…needed some work.

''_Stupid palm-tree…''_

The midget also had a very colorful language that would be of great used in later arguments.

''_Now, now chibi-chan. What would your mother think if she could hear you now?"_

''…''

''_Hmm…''_

Envy laughed out loud. Letting the wind carry his vow east, he pledged,_ '' _I will take great pleasure in making you suffer…''

''_Edward Elric.''_

サディスティック

Not too far away, in a certain room in Central Hospital, Edward Elric sneezed.

Loudly.

Second Lieutenant Ross glanced at him with concern. _''_Are you okay, sir? You may be catching a cold.''

''Nah, it's nothing,'' he said, waving it off. ''Probably someone plotting my demise."

Sergeant Brosh looked up from his nap. ''Who would one wanna do that?''

''Oh, a lot of people.'' He answered vaguely, his thoughts straying over to a wench-wielding blonde, a housewife, a trigger-happy Lieutenant, a pyromaniac bastard, and an amethyst eyed homunculus…

サディスティック

**A/N:**-shuffles feet-So how did I do? Comment and remember..Raging infernos will be used to destroy neighboring countries.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I give great thanks to Boredom's Apprentice and The Red Panda Alchemist, the first two people to review my story. I don't really have anything to say except…On with the action!

**Disclaimer:** I do not in any way own Fullmetal Alchemist or Harry Potter. All rights go to the original creators.

Chapter 1

Edward was having the stare down of his life. The Fullmetal Alchemist V.S. The Devil's Drink. More commonly known as milk.

''I'm not gonna drink you, dirty bastard.''

Al sighed. ''Just drink the dumb milk, Ed''

Ed scoffed. ''Says you. You're lucky, Al. You didn't have to drink to get that big.''

''_It's not like I asked to be this way!''_

A long silence filled the hospital room that was only interrupted by the arrival of Second Lieutenant Ross.

''Mr. Elric, sir. You have a visitor.''

''Huh? Who is it?''

''It's Colonel Mustang, sir.''

Ed groaned. ''Tell him I'm sleeping.''

''He knows you're awake, sir.''

''Tell him I'm busy.'' Ed said. ''Please, Lieutenant.''

Ross sighed. ''He bids me inform you that glaring at milk is not a form of work.''

Ed sighed in defeat. ''Let him in.''

The door opened and Mustang walked in, smug smirk and all.

Ed growled. ''You've got nerve, bastard. Lecturing me about work. How long until Hawkeye realizes you're gone?''

Mustang shuddered but shook it off. ''Never mind that. You've got a mission.'' He tossed a thick envelope onto Edward's lap.

He paid it no mind. ''Don't I get any recovery time?"

Mustang smirked. ''You and me both know that a couple of broken bones won't keep you down.''

''Damn straight.''

He opened the envelope and pulled out a letter. He began to read, his eyebrows rising higher and higher with each line, until his eyebrows seemed to disappear into his bangs.

''Brother, what's wrong?'' Al asked, in spite of himself.

Ed threw the paper next to the forbidden milk. ''No.''

Mustang blinked. ''No?''

''No.'' Ed repeated. ''There is-''

サディスティック

''NO WAY IN HELL THAT I'M GONNA DO THIS!''

Lust sighed. ''Stop acting like a child, Envy.''

Envy's face was pale with rage. ''I'm not gonna do it! I'll kill him!"

''You won't.''

''Does it have to be me?!Why can't Gluttony do it? Or Pride? Or Sloth?"

''Gluttony's too stupid to do it by himself. He most likely will start eating the teachers. And both Pride and Sloth have work to do here.''

''Why can't you go?''Envy asked.

Lust stood up, bouncing her cleavage as she did. ''Envy, there's no way they would let a woman like me into the school.''

''Yeah, you would start seducing all the students.'' Envy muttered.

Lust ignored him. She tossed him a thick envelope without warning. ''Here''

Envy caught it and sniffed suspiciously. When he deemed clean, he opened the envelope and began to read.

He raised an eyebrow. ''Gluttony. Can you chew quieter? I'm trying to read.''

''What is it, Envy?'' Lust asked as she sashayed over to him.

He shoved the letter in her face. ''Read.''

_HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY_

_Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE_

''God, who names these people?''

''Quiet, Envy.''

(_Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock_

Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of _Wizards)_

Dear Envy Homunculus,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all the necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await your owl no later than July 31.

Your Sincerely,

_Minerva McGonagall _

サディスティック

''We await you owl?''Al asked. ''What does that mean?''

Mustang glanced at the suit of amour. ''I forgot. The letter was sent by an owl.''

''What the hell?!'' Ed said. ''Who still does that?!''

''So what do you think, Fullmetal?''

''I'm not doing it.'' he said. ''Magic doesn't exist. It's illogical. It's like Mustang doing his paperwork-''

''Hey…''

''Or Havoc keeping a relationship for more than a week or-''

''You being taller than 5 feet?''Mustang put in.

''Shut up.'' Ed muttered. ''Anyway, I'm not doing it.''

Mustang sighed. ''No choice. The Fuhrer gave the order.''

If Al could show emotions, his face would have the look of utter shock. ''The Fuhrer?''

Mustang nodded grimly. He glanced at Ed.

''So?''Ed said. ''When do we leave?''

''Well for one, only you're going.'' Mustang held up one hand to silence Edward's rant. ''You're going to be incognito. Al would attract too much attention.''

Edward shut his mouth and took to silently glaring at Mustang instead.

Mustang continued. ''You won't be going alone however. I was told that one of the Fuhrer's men would be there.''

Ed made a face that could be identified as disgust but said nothing. Mustang continued on.

''You're to leave in two days and meet this Dumbledore man at the _Leaky Cauldron._''

''Excuse me?''

''In Scotland.''

''Never heard of it.''

''With your height, I'm surprised you can hear anything.''

''I. Am. Not. Short.''

Ed ran a hand through his hair. ''How am I supposed to be getting there anyway?''

''Apparently, you're going to receive transportation.'' Mustang said, glancing at the paper. ''You're going to be covering as a student in this school, so no alchemy. No mentioning the military or Ametris at all.''

''Yeah, yeah. Geez, I'm not an idiot Mustang.''

''You haven't convinced me of that.''

Ed glared and was about to retort when two gunshots sounded, clear as day. Edward smirked.

''Sounds like your time's up.''

Mustang marched across the room and thrust open the window. He glanced at Ed and Al then put his finger to his lips. And with that, he was gone. And not a second later, Hawkeye bursts into the room, gun up, safety off. Ed wordlessly pointed to the window.

She nodded. ''Thank you, Edward.''

Hawkeye jumped out the window and almost immediately began firing her gun. Ed grinned. He laid down, planning to get some sleep before his sadistic mechanic arrived.

サディスティック

Edward slumped against the wall in defeat. He had been searching for hours, looking for this ''Leaky Cauldron''. He had even asked around. But people either ignored him or looked at him like he had lost his mind. One man even had the balls to ask if he was lost. Like he was some little kid! Edward growled, attracting attention from some passerby. He vaguely wondered if this was Mustang's idea of payback for giving him matches on his birthday. Ed stuffed his hands in his pockets and pouted angrily. _This city's just too damn big!_ Ed stood up straight and glanced at the building he had been leaning on. His jaw dropped. Right there in big letters was a sign that read ''The Leaky Cauldron''. Ed stalked into the building, muttering curses under his breath.

Ed walked up to the counter, noticing how empty the place was. There was no one but a couple of men in robes and some guy sitting by himself in a corner.

''Hello, how may I help you?''

A toothless man stood behind the bar, cleaning empty cups with a rag. Edward walked up to the man smiling politely.

''Um, I have a reservation.''

The man nodded. ''So, you're Mr. Elric? You're shorter than I imagined.''

Ed's left eye violently, but he made no comment. Al was always getting on his case about keeping his temper. The man, who introduced himself as Tom, pointed to the guy in the corner. Ed thanked Tom and headed towards the table, thoughts of screwing with the guy's mind already in focus.

Ed opened his mouth to make a snarky comment when his eyes landed on the guy in question. His eyes widened to anime-like proportions. He raised a shaking finger.

''Y-you…''

The teenager smiled a truly sadistic smile.

''About damn time, chibi.''

**A/N:** Excuse #1: My computer went MIA. Couldn't find her for weeks. Once again, thanks to all you read my story. Don't forget to comment. Flame me!I want criticism!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'll save my bullshit to the end.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or Harry Potter. If I did Hughes and Sirius would be alive and kicking.

* * *

Chapter 2

The young alchemist who had bravely (or stupidly) stared down so many dangers could only gape like a fish at the sight of the homunculus.

Said homunculus pouted. Yes, he _pouted._

''You're not happy to see me?''

''Like hell I'm happy.'' Ed raised his hands in the motion of clapping, prepared to transmute his arm into something that would fill Envy with a bunch of holes. Envy grabbed his wrists and forced his hands far apart, not even allowing him to do that. Envy shook his head at him, as if scolding a young child.

''If I can't kill you, you can't kill me.'' he sang annoyingly.

Edward was beginning to think that everything about the sin was annoying. Like how it took a person a whole five minutes to figure out what his gender was. Seeing as he couldn't punch Envy in the face, he settled for glaring instead.

''What the hell are you talking about?'' Ed spat. To his great surprise, Envy dropped his hands, letting them fall to his side. He looked up at the sin apprehensively. Envy looked down at him with an equal amount of kindness.

''See, I'm not allowed to kill you. As sad as it seems, we have a momentary truce.'' Envy explained, looking very sad about too.

''A momentary truce?'' Ed repeated.

Envy nodded.

Ed's hand made its way to his chin in the universal thinking pose. He could kill Envy. Mustang never mentioned killing any mortal enemies during his briefing. His nose scrunched up. _Or did he?_ He never really listened to anything Mustang said. So there was a possibility that Mustang mentioned that. Ed shook his head wildly. He was positive that Mustang hadn't said anything like that. Anywho, the possibility that he could actually kill Envy was very low. Not that he was ever going to admit that. His stomach growled loudly. _When was the last time I ate, _he wondered vaguely. Ed's stomach growled again. He pinched it, telling it to shut up.

Not too far away, Envy watched all this with an amused expression on his face. _Humans are so fucked up._ And as if to prove his point, Edward started to talk to himself.

Very strange.

Apparently, the pipsqueak was so deep in thought, he didn't notice that Envy was playing with his hair. Envy had managed to give the blonde several ridiculous hair dos before putting his hair back into its normal braid.

Finally, the alchemist sighed.

''Fine,'' he said, sticking out his left hand. ''Truce.''

Envy grinned like the homicidal manic he was. He took Ed's hand and shook it vigorously before dropping it again. The two stared at each other for a while until Envy decided he wanted to knee Edward in the stomach. Ed fell to the floor, gasping and wheezing for air. Envy sat back down and began to pluck at the fabric of his jeans. Lust had gone out and bought him a bunch of clothes. Completely unnecessary, but sweet in Lust's own way.

Envy glanced down at Ed, who was still writhing on the floor in agony. Envy rolled his eyes. He hadn't hurt him _that_ bad. Wimp. Ed managed to drag himself into the seat opposite of Envy.

''W-what about t-the _truce?_'' Ed wheezed.

Envy shrugged. ''Didn't say I couldn't maim you.''

Ed glared at him. Envy glared right back. It got to the point when whoever was looking in on the conversation, could see lighting flashing between the two. Thankfully, their stare down was interrupted by a loud _pop._ The two jumped to their feet, shifting into defensive stances.

''My, my. You two are fast.''

Where there was once only open space, there stood a tall, old man dressed in eccentric blue robes. Half-moon glasses were perched on a crooked nose that looked like it had been broken at least two times. The man's long grey hair was only rivaled by the length of his beard. The man smiled at them kindly, blue eyes twinkling.

''My name is Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft.''

He looked at them and Envy had the strangest urge to hide himself. He restrained, of course. These wizards were probably more pathetic than humans, if that was even possible.

''You are Edward Elric and Envy Homunculus, I presume.'' He said, acknowledging them both.

They both nodded.

He smiled. ''Well then. Let's get started, shall we?''

Dumbledore slid into the booth and the two had no choice but to sit next to each other, a generous amount of space between them.

The old man began to speak but Envy listened with only half an ear. He only caught snippets of the conversation. Things like ''The Boy Who Lived'', Moldymort (Or something relatively close to that.), murderer, tournament, resurrection and something about an eyeball.

Envy had finally come back to the conversation when Ed started to speak.

''So basically, you want us to protect this kid from a resurrected psychopath who wants to kill him.''

Dumbledore nodded. ''In a nutshell, yes.''

''And what are we getting in return for this?'', Ed asked. ''Equivalent Exchange.''

Something flickered in Dumbledore's eyes but he revealed nothing of his thoughts.

''I am under the impression that you are searching for something. Hogwarts has an extensive library. You are welcomed to use it. You may use whatever you find there.''

Edward nodded, satisfied.

Dumbledore turned his piercing gaze to Envy. ''Is there anything you require?''

Envy shrugged. Dumbledore studied him for a moment before continuing. ''One more thing. The Ministry of Magic has sent one of its employees by the name of Dolores Umbrigde- ''

''Umbitch?'' Envy interrupted.

Dumbledore shook his head, looking amused. ''No, Mr. Homunculus. Umbrigde. She was obviously placed here as a spy for the Ministry. Please keep an eye on her.''

Dumbledore stood up. ''You will be staying at The Leaky Cauldron until term begins. You will also purchase your school supplies at Diagon Alley.''

Noticing their blank stares, Dumbledore stood.

''Follow me, if you please.''

He led them to a backyard and pulled out a stick. Envy frowned. _There's something wrong with this picture._ Ed looked how he felt. Completely and utterly confused. Dumbledore tapped the third brick from the left above the trash can. He stood back as an archway suddenly appeared.

He glanced back at the two teenagers. ''If you walk on straight, you will reach Gringotts. There you can get money for your school supplies.''

Dumbledore smiled at them. ''I expect to see you two at the start-of-term feast.''

And with that, he bid them farewell. He turned on the spot, vanishing with a _pop._

Envy blinked before glancing at Ed. The midget was taking it a lot better than he had imagined. A bit _too _well. He wasn't moving, breathing or blinking. He was like a statue. And it was honestly starting to freak the sin out. Envy walked ahead, deciding that the midget would catch up on his own. Sure enough, the sound of mismatched footsteps followed after him.

The two walked in silence, staring at everything in sight. Envy, spite of himself, was enjoying the sights. Everything from the brightly colored shops and the people in robes caught his attention.

''These people dress like street performers.'' Ed muttered.

Envy glanced at Ed, eyeing his long red coat and his platform boots.

''_They_ look like street performers.'' Envy said, smirking.

''Do you have a problem with my sense of style?!''

''More like lack of.''

Ed glared at him. Envy smiled, patting his head like a small dog. Ed grabbed his fingers and squeezed until he heard a satisfying _snap._ He dropped Envy's hand, smiling brightly. Envy stuffed his hand in his pocket, hiding the bright red alchemic light as his fingers healed. Envy grinned at the alchemist, accepting his proposal of war. He tugged on Ed's flesh arm, leading him to the large, gray multistoried building.

Envy's plan was to enter the bank, get his money, and get the hell out of there. Of course, Edward decided he wanted to read the inscription on the front door. Envy sighed, crossing his arms. He was not pouting like a small, immature brat. He was not.

Ed read aloud, like Envy had some kind of reading disorder. He wasn't stupid!

''_Enter, stranger, but take heed  
Of what awaits the sin of greed-''_

Envy snorted.

''_For those who take, but do not earn,  
Must pay most dearly in their turn.  
So if you seek beneath our floors  
A treasure that was never yours,  
Thief, you have been warned, beware  
Of finding more than treasure there.''_

Ed stared at the words, looking as if he wanted to find the deeper meaning. Envy face palmed. He did not have time for this. He grabbed Ed by his arm, leading, no, manhandling him through a pair of bronze then sliver doors.

* * *

A few moments later, the two emerged from the bank, their faces red and their hair in disarray. Not for the reason rabid yaoi fangirls around the globe would think. They had just returned from the ''ride of their life'' as Edward had put it; a long series of twists and turns in a cart that looked as if it would fall apart any moment. To be honest, Envy had enjoyed it as much as Edward did.

''So what's first?'' Envy asked.

Ed stared at the sin who had seemed to have a complete personality change in the last few minutes. Ignoring the strangeness of it all, he looked at the list.

''A wand.'' he answered.

Silence...

''So what's first?''

''Robes.''

'''Let's get this over with.''

''Don't order me around!''

''Come on, pipsqueak.''

''Who the hell are you callin' short?!''

And that's how it went all the way to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.

* * *

Envy had gotten his robes easily though he swore to himself he would never wear them. Edward, however, was a problem.

''Oh my,'' Madam Malkin murmured. ''This is the smallest size we have.''

Envy did not even try to stifle the snickers that were escaping him. The blonde stood in the middle of the room, his robes touching the floor. His face was red with embarassment.

''I'll take them.'' Ed grumbled angrily.

When they exited the store, Ed spun around to glare at Envy who had finally stopped laughing.

''Not one word.''

Envy only smirked.

The next stop was the bookshop, Flourish and Blotts. Edward had dropped everything he was holding upon sight. He ran towards the bookshop and Envy followed him, taking great care to step on his forgetten belongings.

Edward had pulled a number of books of the shelves, none of them being the ones on the list. Envy examined the shelves, duly interested. However, one book caught his eye. He picked up and turned to Ed.

''Oi, chibi. Catch.''

Edward caught easily. He stared at the sin apprehensively before reading the cover. Exactly one heartbeat later, the _Handbook For Little People _was on the floor and people were staring as Ed tried to end Envy's life.

''I AM NOT SHORT! WHAT ELSE YA WANNA CALL ME?! HALF-PINT PIPSQUEAK?!''

''Sure. Why not?''

Shortly after, they were kicked out of the store by the manager but still manage to get the books they needed, along with others that they _didn't_ need. (Ed)

The same pattern continued all over Diagon Alley. Any store they entered, the two were tossed out five minutes later for fighting. Strange enough, they still got everything they needed._ People here must really need business_, Ed mused. A couple of hours later, the two were standing outside of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor with everything they needed and almost everything they didn't. Envy was calmy licking his chocolate and raspberry ice cream while Ed checked over the list, making sure they didn't forget anything.

''We still have enough money for something extra.'' Edward told him quietly. They had learned back in the Apothecary that it was best to converse with each other in low tones or someone would get dumped in the nearest barrel of suspicious-smelling liquid.(Guess who it was?!)

''How about a _nice_ book?'' Envy suggested politely.

''No,'' the blonde declined.'' I want to get an owl. I hear they're pretty useful.''

Envy licked his ice cream.''Is that so?''

Ed's eyebrow twitched. It had been doing that a lot lately. Envy smirked inwardly. He been doing a lot too. It seemed that Edward did not like Envy's smirk, so he had learned not to show it. Or it would be a replay of the Apothecary espiode.

Envy looked around and immediately began walking towards the Magical Menagerie with Edward in tow, the young alchemist protesting the whole way. He shoved his ice cream at him.

''Hold my ice cream.'' Envy demanded before going into the shop.

Ed frowned, obvoiusly not pleased with his task. He glared at the frozen treat in his hand as if his glare alone could melt it. In Edward's mind, ice cream was just milk in another demonic form. But that didn't stop him from sampling it. And to his surprise, it didn't taste that bad. So he licked it again. And again.

And again.

* * *

Inside the shop, totally unbeknownst to the fact that Edward was eating his ice cream, Envy was admiring the fine specimen in front of him. A sleek, black cat with garnet eyes laid curled in the farthest corner of the cage and was glaring at him with unfathomable hatred.

Envy wanted it so bad.

He poked his finger into the cage to try and pet the beautiful creature. A small claw darted out and scratched his finger. Envy immediately withdrew the injured finger and put it in his mouth, not caring that it would heal in a moment.

''Come on now, kitty,'' Envy purred.''Don't play hard to get.''

The cat swiped at Envy's face, completely disregarding what he said. Of course, this did not dampen Envy's spirits. If anything, it made him want her more. He opened the cage and grabbed the cat, cuddling her in his arms. The cat was obviously not enjoying the invasion of her personal space.

''Aw, don't act like that,'' Envy cooed.''I'm sure the pipsqueak will love you.''

* * *

''Put. It. Back.''

Edward was standing up to Envy with all his 4'9 might. He would take the names, the beatings, and even his damnable smirk. But not this. Nothing but this.

Envy had bought a cat.

Of all the twisted things he could have gotten, he got a cat.

''What?'' Envy asked, unaware of his inner turmoil.

''Of all things, why did you get a cat?!'' Ed demanded.

''What can I say?'' Envy said dramatically.''It was love at first sight.''

That was an over exaggeration. The feline seemed to be doing everything in her power to get away.

''Put it back,'' Edward ordered him.''Do you have any idea what Al will think when he figures out I got a cat?!''

Envy walked ahead, cradling the demon in his arms as if it was his own child.

''Do I look like I care what your tin can says?''

Edward sighed in defeat, not even going to try to defend his younger brother. He grabbed his things and walked after the green-haired sin. He wondered if this trip could get any worse.

''Oi chibi, where's my ice cream?''

Of course, it could.

* * *

**A/N:** I apologize for the extremely long wait. So many things have been happening and I lost my inspiration for this story in a car crash. School started again, so that had been dominating all my time. I'm moving next month and I started watching Bleach. Then, I threw my remote at the TV because of another damn filler. And I got grounded. But I'm back! So, thanks for sticking with me and my premature writing skills.

By the way, I know I don't respond to reviews but if you guys want me to, I will. In fact, I'll start now. But you know what _you_ have to do. -wink wink-

-Janus


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I'M ON A ROLL! -falls on face- Never mind.

**Disclamier:** It is pretty obvious that I do not own Fullemtal Alchemist or Harry Potter.

* * *

Envy had spent the remainer of his days in Diagon Alley playing with his beloved cat, Kiorra, reading his books from Flourish and Blotts, and messing with Edward, the latter more often. Much more often. He didn't want to jinx things but it seemed that he might enjoy this mission with the pipsqueak. Envy had somehow gotten over the fact that Ed ate his raspberry and chocolate ice cream and had thanked him by giving the blonde a black eye. In Envy's opinion, he was holding back. Really.

Today was their final day in Diagon Alley and Envy was trying to keep it quiet and mellow. Edward was lying on his stomach, reading _The Standard Book of Spells_(Grade 6). Envy was duly impressed at the speed that the young alchemist could read. But he supposed it would be easy for anyone if you got rid of more than half of the books. A few hours after their shopping spree, Ed had thrown several books into the farthest corner of the room that they shared. Most of them seemed to be under the same study; the art of Transfiguration. The others included books all by the same author which Ed threw across the room, declaring that they were bullshit. Envy read them and had to agree.

They were bullshit.

Envy watched as Kiorra moved out of her personal patch of sunlight coming from the window to go lay next to Edward on the bed. The amethyst-eyed sin watched in envy(pun intended) as the blonde impatiently pushed the cat away. He sighed. Envy was still getting over the fact that his cat loved the pipsqueak more than him. And that the pipsqueak didn't give the cat the time of day.

Envy sat up abruptly and pulled on his shoes. He walked towards the door and turned to look at Kiorra.

''Wanna come?"

Kiorra turned big, green eyes towards him and then looked at Edward, who was still ignoring her. She made a noise, probably the cat equivalent of a sigh and slowly walked over to him. Envy smiled happily and picked up her in his arms. He glanced at Edward.

''Oi, pipsqeak. I'm going out.''

There was the sound of grinding teeth then a grunt of approval.

Envy smirked.

* * *

After getting another raspberry and chocolate ice cream from Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Palor(God, he loved that stuff) Envy found himslef strolling through Diagon Alley, Kiorra following him. He soon found himself in front of Gringotts, something catching his eye. It appeared to be a whole other thing, completely different from Diagon Alley.

_Knockturn Alley._

Every creepy, sadistic fiber within him was screaming at him to go down the strange, random alley in a world that he knew almost nothing about. Well, not really true. He was reading books about it. But just when Envy was about to cross into Knockturn terrioty, he felt the famailar feeling of someone galring holes in his back. He turned around, expecting to see Edward but instead, he saw a small, plump redheaded woman was was glaring daggers at him. Or more appropriately, his hair.

Kiorra hissed, obviously not liking the hatred the woman was directing at her master. That was her job, damnit!

Envy gave the women his best ' I'm-a-sadist-and-I'm-proud' look. She looked alarmed._ As she should,_ Envy thought smugly. He turned on his heel and walked back to the Leaky Cauldron, thoughts about Knockturn Alley flying out of his mind...for the moment.

* * *

Edward gave a rather large burp and patted his full stomach happily. He was rather enjoying himself. At the military, he was put on rations. According to the bastard, the military did not have enough money to supply him with all the food he wanted. But here, he could eat all he wanted.

He looked across the table at Envy, who had just finished his third slice of chocolate cake. It seemed that the sin had a big of an appetite as he did. Ed picked up the book he had been reading. Personally, he thought it was stupid for him to learn about something he would never pratice but Mustang had told him to learn all he could about the place and the people. He said it was to see if they were a threat or not. And if they weren't a threat, they were a potential ally.

He flipped to his page, determined to finish the book today. Edward was aware he had read way more than he should have but he was following his orders.

Finally.

''Oi, pipsqueak.''

_Think of Al. Think of Al. Think of Al. Think of Al. Think Of Al. Think of Al._

Edward looked at the sin as nicely as possible. Which meant with no kindess at all.

''Yes?''

''You didn't drink your milk.''

Edward's blood frozed. Envy looked at him, amethyst eyes curious. He didn't look like he was teasing. In fact, he looked dead serious.

Ed held his book in front of his face. He mumbled,''I don't like milk.''

Envy leaned forward, cupping his ear as if that would help him hear better. ''What did ya say?''

He cleared his throat awkwardly. ''I do not like milk.'' he said a bit louder.

There was a longest moment of silence before the oddest sound graced his ears.

It was throaty and smooth.

It was devious.

Envy Homunculus was_ laughing_ at him.

There wouldn't have been any surprise if this was the sin's normal laughter. It was still directed at him. It wasn't filled with maliciousness and wasn't filled with the usual sadistic joy. Call Edward insane, but it might have been filled with...

Mirth.

Quickly satisfied, Envy's lips sealed and the laughter stopped. He scooped up Kiorra in his lap and stared at Ed, smirk in place.

Ed gazed at him, stunned.

His eyes had been filled with pure enjoyment.

Strange...

And even though it was at his expense, Ed was almost sad to see it go.

''Guess that explains why you're so short. Eh, shorty?''

Almost.

* * *

**A/N:** This was more of a filler chap than anything. By the way, I do realize Ed was a bit OOC at the end but I couldn't help myself. I never intened to upload it but I knew I could never rest unless it was up there. Oh, reply to Guest reviewer.

Thanks for the praise. Really. You made my day. :)

Anywhore, the golden trio will be showing up next chapter and then the plot will FINALLY began to move along.

Yeah...So, read and review. And thanks to everyone that is still reading my junk.


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